Jerry monologue (Act 1) — The Vegetable; or, From President to Postman

Hello.... Hello, hello. Say! I wonder’f you could tell me who was nominated for President.... All right, give me Information.... Information, I wonder if you could tell me who was nominated for President.... Why not?... Well, that’s information, isn’t it?... It doesn’t matter what _kind_ of information it is. It’s information, isn’t it? Isn’t it? It’s information, isn’t it?... Say, what’s your hurry? [_He bobs the receiver up and down._] Hello, give me Long Distance again.... Hello, is this Information?... This is _mis_information, eh? Ha-ha! Did you hear that? _Mis_information.... I asked for Information.... Well, you’ll do, Long Distance.... Long Distance--how far away are you? A long distance! Ha-ha!... Hello.... Hello!