The Old Bachelor: A Comedy

SHARPER, SETTER.

Set. Some by experience find these words misplaced: At leisure married, they repent in haste.

As I suppose my master Heartwell.

Sharp. Here again, my Mercury!

Set. Sublimate, if you please, sir: I think my achievements do deserve the epithet—Mercury was a pimp too, but, though I blush to own it, at this time, I must confess I am somewhat fallen from the dignity of my function, and do condescend to be scandalously employed in the promotion of vulgar matrimony.

Sharp. As how, dear, dexterous pimp?

Set. Why, to be brief, for I have weighty affairs depending—our stratagem succeeded as you intended—Bluffe turns errant traitor; bribes me to make a private conveyance of the lady to him, and put a shame-settlement upon Sir Joseph.

Sharp. O rogue! Well, but I hope—

Set. No, no; never fear me, sir. I privately informed the knight of the treachery, who has agreed seemingly to be cheated, that the captain may be so in reality.

Sharp. Where’s the bride?

Set. Shifting clothes for the purpose, at a friend’s house of mine. Here’s company coming; if you’ll walk this way, sir, I’ll tell you.