The Old Bachelor: A Comedy

[_To them_] FONDLEWIFE.

Fond. Here are fifty pieces in this purse, Sir Joseph; if you will tarry a moment, till I fetch my papers, I’ll wait upon you down-stairs.

Læt. Ruined, past redemption! what shall I do—ha! this fool may be of use. (Aside.) [_As_ FONDLEWIFE _is going into the chamber_, _she runs to_ SIR JOSEPH, _almost pushes him down_, _and cries out_.] Stand off, rude ruffian. Help me, my dear. O bless me! Why will you leave me alone with such a Satyr?

Fond. Bless us! What’s the matter? What’s the matter?

Læt. Your back was no sooner turned, but like a lion he came open mouthed upon me, and would have ravished a kiss from me by main force.

Sir Jo. O Lord! Oh, terrible! Ha, ha, ha. Is your wife mad, Alderman?

Læt. Oh! I’m sick with the fright; won’t you take him out of my sight?

Fond. O traitor! I’m astonished. O bloody-minded traitor!

Sir Jo. Hey-day! Traitor yourself. By the Lord Harry, I was in most danger of being ravished, if you go to that.

Fond. Oh, how the blasphemous wretch swears! Out of my house, thou son of the whore of Babylon; offspring of Bel and the Dragon.—Bless us! ravish my wife! my Dinah! Oh, Shechemite! Begone, I say.

Sir Jo. Why, the devil’s in the people, I think.