full length · drama
Captain Mary Miller : $b A drama
Royalty-free Public domain — free to read, perform, and adapt. No licence needed.
Characters
| Mary | lead | 131 speeches |
| Phus | supporting | 56 speeches |
| Capt. G | supporting | 47 speeches |
| Mrs. G | supporting | 44 speeches |
| J. Q | supporting | 42 speeches |
| Mr. R | supporting | 35 speeches |
| Capt. M | supporting | 32 speeches |
| L. J | supporting | 27 speeches |
| Hank | minor | 23 speeches |
| Will | minor | 18 speeches |
| Patsy | minor | 12 speeches |
Read the play
_Same as in Act III., with the addition of a hammock slung near the wheel-house, containing the baby. Enter_ MARY _from the wheel-house with a small sailor hat and reefer on. She takes them off, and lays them on a chair as she talks._
Mary. Here we are at last, safe at New Orleans. I wish I could hear from Washington; and why _don’t_ I hear from William? I sent home the last money I had saved up, and I shall have no more if they take the boat away. I can’t give her up! And I can’t do anything else to earn a living. This is my business—my life.
(_Enter_ PHUS, L.)
Phus. Oh, mis’! Pats he say he won’t help unload de boat; an’ I can’t get nobody to help, as you tole me. Dey all say dey won’t be bos’ by no woman.
Mary. (_sighs_) Well, Phus, _you’re_ willing to work for me, ain’t you? _You_ won’t leave your mistress, will you?
Phus. Neber! No, mis’! I allus work for you an’ de cap’n an’ de baby. Hank, too, he stay. He ben hawlin out de cargo like sixty. He say wimmin good ’nough for him. He ruther be cook to wimmin bos’; cos dey knows more ’bout de fixin’s, an’ dey neber sez, “darn dat stuff.”
Mary. Phus, you run and tell Patsy he can go. He’s all paid up; and I don’t want him any more. And, here! take my reefer and hat down into the cabin. I shan’t want them at present.
Phus. Yes, mis’. (_He goes out_, R.)
Mary. (_swinging the hammock gently_) Must I leave my happy home, where I came a bride? (_Leans over the baby_) My baby’s birthplace? Why! I love every timber in this tight little steamboat. She is as dear to me as one of the biggest houses on the river is to the fine lady who lives in it.
Phus. (_re-entering_) Oh, mis’! Pats he say he _will_ go wid you up riber a piece, to where he woman lib, an’ get off dar.
Mary. Very well. I’ll see him by and by; but I don’t know as I shall want him. Oh! if my license would only come!
Phus. You licens’, mis; wot’s you licens’?
Mary. (_sadly_) Why, Phus, I have asked the big men at Washington to give me a license; same as the other river-captains have.
Phus. (_whimpering_) Oh, Lor’, mis, bress de Lor’! I hope it’ll cum. (_Sits on floor at_ R., _and sings softly_.)
Bring ’long de licens’,—’Lijah cum down.
(_Takes a book from his pocket, sits on floor at_ R., _and reads with a great deal of action_.)
Mary. (_looking at him_) Poor Phus! If the big men at Washington could only see me as he sees me, and know, as he knows, how well I can handle a boat, they would very soon say yes to my application.
(_Enter_ MR. ROMBERG, L.)
Mr. R. Good-day, Mrs. Miller. I am sorry to be obliged to proceed against you, and ask you to deliver up your husband’s papers. _I_ might be willing to wait a little longer; but the other owners are not satisfied. They say that as you cannot get a captain’s license, some man must take the boat.
Mary. Cannot get a captain’s license? How do you know that? I have applied for one; and am expecting every minute to hear from Washington.
Mr. R. I know that. Here is the _Delta_ with a long account of your case, and the decision of the Solicitor of the Treasury.
Mary. (_coming forward_) Let me see it! I have heard nothing about it. We have had no mail since we got in.
Mr. R. (_reads from the newspaper emphatically_). “One of the richest papers on the woman question that has ever emanated from an official source is the opinion of Solicitor Rayner on the question whether licenses should be granted women to command steamboats. He says: ‘Instead of being master in name, while some one else performs the duties, why does she not let some one else be master in name? She would not stand her watch at night in the cold. She would not enforce the discipline on a Mississippi steamer. She would not tramp to the rooms of shippers and consigners to do the banking business—’”
Mary. (_interrupting_) Why! that is just what I have been doing for the last five months.
Mr. R. (_reads on_). “‘All the accounts concur in describing the lady who makes this application as one of high character, business qualifications, and highest worth. But, in the application of what is with me a principle, the higher the character and worth, the greater my difficulty in asking that the license asked for to command a Mississippi steamboat be granted. Because it would be assigning a position to woman which God, in his providence, never intended her to fill.
K. Rayner, Solicitor of the Treasury.’”
(_Holds out paper to her._)
Mary. What does he mean? I am sure God has permitted me to fill this position, and (_reverently_) if He had not permitted it, and helped me, too, I never could have done it so well. How unjust this man is! Oh, Mr. Rayner! can you not comprehend that, when a woman _can do_ a man’s work, she ought to have the legal right? (_Comes forward, takes the paper, and reads to herself. To him_) But see, Mr. Romberg. Here is something else about it; something from the Secretary of the Treasury. (_Reads_) “The United States Revised Statutes say that whenever any person applies to be licensed, the inspectors shall diligently inquire as to the character of the person, whether male or female. I see no reason, then, in unwritten or in written law, why Mistress Miller may not lawfully demand an examination; and, if she proves herself duly qualified, have a license to serve as master of a vessel. Let the local inspectors carefully examine her, and if they are satisfied that she can be safely intrusted with the duties and responsibilities of a master of a steam vessel, let them grant her a license, according to section 4439.
Chas. J. Folger, Secretary of the Treasury.”
Bless him for that! He may make it all right. You see, Mr. Romberg, it is not fully decided. I may get the license yet. (PHUS _looks up from his book_.) I have been examined; and when I told the inspectors all about that large boat that got stuck up the river, near Cairo, and that we had the chance to take off the loaded barges, and how I had them made fast to us, took the wheel myself, turned the big boat round, and carried her safely into Cairo, they looked surprised enough. And one of them said that I did seem to be qualified. Phus remembers it, the visit of the inspectors; don’t you, Phus?
Phus. (_jumping up and putting his whole hand in the book for a mark_) O, yes, mis’! dem two gem’man, one wid de black bandanna on he hat, de oder wid de gaiters! De las’ one, he say, “You culled pusson, tel’ me troo, your mis’ _she_ no bos’ dis boat?” I say, “Yaas, saar!” Den de one wid de black bandanna, he say, “But de mate, _he_ de real cap’n; _he_ stan’ at w’eel, steer, an’ tak’ car’ ob injyne, don’ he?”
Mary. What did you tell him?
Phus. I sez, “No! On’y when mis’ restin’, an’ it’s cam (_calm_), an’ dere ain’t no snags nor be-yous. _She_ bos’, _she_ steer, _she_ watch injyne. Pats, he on’y shovel coal, ’bey orders. On’y he mad sometime, an’ he say he not be bos’ by wimmin. Den de one wid de gaiters, he say, “You nig tell de trute; she _raal_ cap’n? She bos’ ebryting?” I say, “Yas, saar-e! ebryting! She bos’ steamboat. She bos’ Pats. She bos’ Hank and me—Phus—dat’s me W’y! mis’ could bos’ you, bos’ de President ’nited States, be cap’n ob ebrybody.” Den dey bof laf, an’ I help’ ’em obe de gang-plank.
Mary. (_sitting_) Oh, Phus! you tried to prove too much. But you make me laugh, in spite of my troubles.
Phus. I does my bes’, mis’. (_Sits down_, R., _and reads_.)
Mr. R. The other owners say, and the newspapers, too, that you have no chance; and we are all so certain of it that we have agreed not to take away the boat if you do get the license.
Mary. Do you think yourselves so certain as that? Very well. But I have faith to believe that you will all wish that you had not made that promise, unless you really want me to have the boat.
Mr. R. Oh, madam! we’ve no notion you’ll get it. The other owners scorn the idea of a woman captain, and so do I. It’s ridiculous! (_Walks about._)
Phus. (_reading to himself_) W’ot did Meelissee scramded—no—squeemed for? ’coz she felt a col’ han’ on her fourhed? Golly! wos she ’f’aid o’ dat? (_Reads_) Oh! she was alone in de dark, in de bed, an’ couldn’t see nobody! I should ’a’ thought she would ’a’ squeemed. (_Looks all around in a frightened manner._)
Mr. R. (_seating himself near_ MARY). When did you hear from your husband last?
Mary. Not for a long time. I can’t think what the reason is. I expected to find a letter here, but haven’t received any. Phus!
Phus. (_jumping up in terror, and then relieved_) Oh! it’s on’y mis’. Yaas! yaas!
Mary. Phus, you go to the post-office, and see if there are any letters. The post-man may not know that we have come in.
Phus. Yaas, mis’. (_Puts book on the wheel-house, and exit_ L.)
Mr. R. He went out with a fishing-fleet, didn’t he, from Gloucester?
Mary. Yes; why?
Mr. R. Well, there have been a good many fishing-boats lost lately, down at the Banks, that went from Gloucester. What was the name of his boat?
Mary. The Betsey Ludgitt, Captain Zabulon Miller.
Mr. R. That’s the name of one of them, I think. Here’s the shipping list. It says (_he reads_), “Several vessels strayed from the fleet, and have not been heard from since. It is feared that they are lost. Among them is the Betsey Ludgitt, Captain Zab—”
Mary. (_rising in alarm_) Merciful Heaven! it cannot be! I should have heard; something would have told me if such a dreadful thing had happened to William. I cannot believe it.
Mr. R. He _may_ be safe; but the probabilities are that he is lost.
Mary. Oh! do not say that again. I cannot and will not believe it. (_Goes to the hammock, and bends over it._)
Mr. R. (_approaching_ MARY _in an insinuating way_). My dear—madam, if anything should happen to your husband, remember (_smiling_) that you have a warm friend in me. I will give you as good a home as there is on the river, and take your child, too. Yes! yes! I’ll take your child.
Mary. (_turning suddenly upon him_) Give me a home? Take my child? What do you mean?
Mr. R. Why, I mean that I’ll marry you!
Mary. Marry me? Who gave you the right to say you’d marry me, or take my baby? William’s child! How dare you!
Mr. R. I don’t see as you can help yourself. You need the protection of a man. You can’t have the boat; and you certainly can’t get a living around here, with your hands tied by that young one. And you’re too pretty a woman—(_Tries to take her hand._)
Mary. (_indignantly_). Sir! you’ve said enough! You may own my boat, and you may have the power to take her from me; but you cannot have the wife of Captain William Miller. I tell you, sir, that I would rather beg my way home from door to door, with my child in my arms,—yes, I would starve,—before I would be the wife of any man but my own husband. Dead or alive, it makes no difference to me. He is still my husband!
Mr. R. (_aside_). Those down-East women beat the world. The spunk they show—Yankee grit they call it—it’s amazing! But, Gad! it makes her look handsomer than ever. (_To her, insinuatingly_) You may change your mind; but, whether you do or not, remember that I will always be your friend. (_Smiling._)
Mary. Sir! I shall _never_ change my mind; and I forbid you ever to mention this subject to me again. I want no such friendship as yours. Good-morning! (_Turns from him, and goes to the hammock._)
Mr. R. (_apologetically_). Well, I’m sure I—(_Aside_) Gad! I want her more than ever. (_To her_) You know I said if you _did_ get the license, we won’t take away the boat. I’m sure you ought not to complain of that!
Mary. (_without turning_) Very well, sir—then, there is nothing more to say. Good-morning.
Mr. R. (_shamefacedly_). Er-er-good-morning. (_Exit_ R.)
Mary. (_scornfully_) So this is the way men _protect_ women! Wretch! To dare to speak so to me!
(_Re-enter_ PHUS, R.)
Phus. O, mis’! dere’s an ol’ gemmen an’ young maars on de warf, an’ dey bof ax for you.
Mary. Why, who can they be? Ask them to come on deck.
Phus. (_at_ R.) Dis way! Dis way!
(CAPTAIN GANDY, _outside, sings_.)
“On Springfield maount’ins there did dwell A lovelye youth an’ known full well—”
Mary. (_in great surprise_) Father Gandy!
(_Enter_ CAPT. G. _at_ R., _with_ J. Q. A., _in the uniform of a railroad-train boy, with a basket on his arm_.)
Mary. Why, father! Where _did_ you come from? And John Quincy Adams! (_Rushes into his arms, spilling the basket._)
J. Q. A. Here! Here! What are you about, spilling all my spondulics! (_Puts down his basket, and takes off his hat._)
Mary. Dear, dear father! where in the world did you come from? (_Throws her arms round him._)
CAPT G. Why! from hum, o’ coorse. Whar else should I hail from?
Mary. (_eagerly_) Oh, father! do you know anything about William? I haven’t heard from him for two months, and I can’t think what the reason is. You don’t suppose anything could have happened to him, do you?
Capt. G. Oh! wal, no—I guess not. I saw by the _Herald_ that Zab Miller’s skewner had strayed from the rest on ’em; but he knows wot he’s abaout. He ain’t a-gwine ter tell all Glowchester where them skewls o’ haulibaout hide. (_Pats her on the shoulder._) Don’t yer worry abaout that! There ain’t no telegraph poles on them fishin’ graounds, an’ the post-man don’t drop in every day in them diggin’s, an’ there ain’t no delivery if yer do write, nuther.
Mary. I can’t help worrying; and yet I know he must be safe. But, father, how did _you_ happen to come?
Capt. G. Wal, yer marm was so worrited abaout your trouble that she made me start off; coz she sed I could act as cap’n, if that was all the gov’ment wanted, be “master in name” (she read it in the _Globe_), so’s you could keep the boat. (_Shoves hat on back of head, puts hands in pockets, and walks about, sailor fashion._)
J. Q. A. _I_ was the first one to think of coming. And I went to Boston on Jim Rosson’s engine, and got a chance as train-boy to New York. And when marm found out I was bound to come, she said pup should go, too. I wanted to come and punch old Romberg’s head. (_Walks about and inspects everything._)
Mary. But where did you get the money to come with, father? and, John (_to_ J. Q. A.), who paid your fare from New York?
J. Q. A. Why! I paid myself, of course. What do you take me for? When I got to New York I got another chance as train-boy, all the way through; and I’ve peddled out water in a big-nosed coffee-pot from Annisport to New Orleans. And sold books, too! And prize packages, and things, and magazines. (_Calls_) “Harper’s! December Harper’s! Baby Pathfinder! Puck! Peanuts! Gum drops? (_Offers his basket to_ MARY.)
Mary. You funny boy!
Capt. G. Well, yer see, yer marm—
Mary. (_interrupting_) Sit down, father. (_Offers him a camp-stool._)
Capt. G. No, I just ’s lives stand. (_Leans against railing._) Yer marm took boarders all summer, an’ she made me take that money. She said ’twould never do any more good; an’, then, Leafy Jane, she’s l’arnt the millinger’s trade, an’ she giv’ me some o’ hern.
J. Q. A. I tried to get a pass for him, part way, at least; but them railroad men are so mean they’ll never help a fellow along.
Capt. G. Haow is little Nate?
Mary. Oh! he’s all right! Here he is, father. Come and see him. (_They go together to the hammock._) He hasn’t been sick a day this summer. The dear little fellow! He grows like a weed.
J. Q. A. (_at the hammock, aside_). A pig weed, I s’pose.
Capt. G. Yer see, Mary, yer trouble has set me ter thinkin’; an’ when you wrote they was goin’ to take away yer boat, just cos yer was a woman, by the great horn spoon, I was mad: for yer a Gandy cl’ar through, a sea-cap’n born like all the rest on us. And I’ve made up my mind that wimmin’s rights must be worth suthin’ to wimmin, as well as men’s rights to men. An’, as old Pete Rosson said, when he felt so bad about yer losing the boat, “Sence a woman can’t allus hev her husband or her father tew take care on her, she ort to have the right to take care o’ herself, an’ then she can use it or not, as she wants tew.” An’ so I begin to think that I don’t care if we do let ’em vote.
J. Q. A. (_examining the wheel_). Cracky! you can’t make me believe that. I shall vote in five years, and I’m sure I don’t want Leafy Jane taggin’ after me to the poles. ’Tain’t any place for girls.
Capt. G. Stop yer gab! Wait till yer ten year older an’ then if yer up for _see_-lectman, yer’ll be glad enuf ter have tem vote for _yaou_!
J. Q. A. Wouldn’t I make a healthy selectman? Yes, I guess not!
Capt. G. An’—an’, Mary, I want to tell yer suthin’ else. I gin in about yer mother’s caarf, an’ went an’ bought her back. To be sure, she ain’t a caarf no longer, but a good likely heifer; but yer mother sez the principle ’s just as good as if she was jest born, or as old as Methuselum. An’ she’s tickled enuf abaout it, an’ she said men ain’t so bad arter all, if yer can onny make ’em see what is wimmin’s jest dues.
(_Enter_ PHUS, L.)
Phus. Oh, mis’! dere’s a s’prise for yer, a golly big one!
Mary. A surprise! What is it?
Phus. Dere’s two ladies talking to Hank; an’ one looks so peart, so peart, oh, Lor’! (_Turns to_ R. _Aside_) I wan’ tell her de res’. O, golly! I can’t keep in.
Mary. Talking to Hank? Some of his lady friends, I suppose.
Phus. O, yes! I forgets. Dey wants ter see you, dey say, and Hank say he bring’d ’em in.
(_Enter_ HANK, R., _in a stage sailor suit, with_ MRS. GANDY _and_ LEAFY JANE, _the latter very stylishly dressed_.)
Mary. Mother! Leafy Jane! (_Rushes to them._) Well, this _is_ a surprise, I should think.
Capt. G. (_in great surprise_). I vum to vummy, I am beat now!
Phus. Wot I tole yer? Wot I tol yer, mis’? (_Aside._) But de odder one’s bigger!
Capt. G. Waal, I swan to man, Lorany! you’ve got ahead on us this time. (_Goes up to her_) Tarnation! haow glad I am ter see yer!
Mary. Why, Leafy Jane, how you’ve grown!
J. Q. A. Yes, and she feels bigger’n you do, and puts on a plaguy sight more airs. She wants father (she calls him par) to put an _e_ in Gandy, ’cause she says it’s more genteel.—And say! she don’t lithp (_lisp_) any more; the customers laughed at her so for saying “yeth, thir.”
Capt. G. (_to_ MRS. G.). Where _in_ the world ’d you come from?
Mrs. G. (_deliberately sitting, and removing bonnet, mitts, etc._). Waal, Nathan, we heerd of an exertion train daown here, at redooced rates; an’ the boarders,—one on ’em’s writin’ a book,—an’ wanted to be quiet,—said they’d take the haouse furnished for tew months, and pay in advance. And so Leafy an’ me come right along. She’s made a lot o’ bunnits this fall on her own accaount, so she’s quite a haress (_heiress_).
L. J. Oh, mar!
Mrs. G. Yer see, par, we hadn’t time to write after we’d made up our mind to start, an’ we cum a leetle sooner’n we should ef it hadn’t ’a’ been for comin’ with—er—with—
L. J. (_whispers warningly_). Why, mar!
MRS. G.—with the exertionists. (_Aside_). Why in the world don’t he come? I’m tired o’ keepin’ it in. He said he onny wanted to go ter the bank. (_To_ MARY) An’ then I was afraid you or the baby—why! where _is_ the baby? Do les see him!
Mary. He’s asleep, mother. Here, come and see him. Isn’t he a darling? (_They go to the hammock._)
L. J. Oh, Mary, what made you name the baby Nathan? I wish you had called him Herbert, Ernest, or Montmorenci. It’s so much more genteel.
J. Q. A. Montmorenci Miller! Cracky! wouldn’t that be tony?
L. J. (_scornfully_). Tony! (_Walks off with_ HANK _to the wheel-house_.)
Mrs. G. (_To_ MARY) We tole yer young man that looks so much like Fred Douglass not ta tell yer who we was.
J. Q. A. Marm won’t say “colored man.”
Mrs. G. No, I won’t; I’m sick o’ readin’ on’t in the newspapers. They’re allus sayin’ such a man, _colored_, had his leg took off, or died, or suthin’. What difference does it make, I should like to know, whether he’s colored or not! He’s hurt all the same, ain’t he? an’ he’s a man, tew, all the same, ain’t he?
Phus. (_aside_) Golly! I shall bust!
Mary. (_to_ MRS. G.) How long can you stay? a good while, I hope.
Hank. (_steps forward, drawls_) I think we must start in about three weeks from Monday, if all the signs come right. (_To_ MARY) You see the excursion don’t last only till then.
Mary. (_in surprise_) _We_ must start! What in the world does this mean?
Hank. Wal, you see, Leafy and me, we’ve been a-writin’ back and forth sence the cap’n told me I’d better; an’ she’s agreed to hev me, an’ go an’ live down to Nantucket. Grandfather’s old, and my marm wants me to come home an’ settle down an’ see to things. She says she’s tired o’ housekeeping, and wants to see some young folks round.
J. Q. A. (_To_ L. J.). ’Fore I’d marry a cook! Anybody that feels as big as you do. Cookie Mudgitt! How are you, Mrs. Cookie Mudgitt!
Capt. G. Hold your yorp! Hundreds of big men hev ben cooks. There was the most worshipful G. M. of aour Masonic Lodge, he used to be cook in Annisport Jail, an’ now he’s a ’surance man, an’ lives in a tarnal big haouse. An’, then, there was a feller cooked on a ranch five year’, an’ they sent him to Congress.
Mary. Oh, Hank! what shall we do without you?
Hank. I tho’t o’ that. But a nice French Creole feller is takin’ my place to-day; an’ if he does well, p’r’aps you’ll keep him. If not, I’ll find somebody else afore we go.
Mary. (_to_ L. J.) When are you going to be married?
L. J. (_loftily_). As soon as we have made the needed preparations. Henry will explain.
J. Q. A. (_to_ HANK). Then, that’s what you’re so rigged up for, ain’t it, Bub? in all them sailor slops. You look like a royal tar, a regular old Britisher.
Hank. (_sheepishly_) Why, yes; you see, Leafy, she likes it. But as soon as the weddin’ is over (she wants me to be married in ’em here on the boat), I mean to put the whole rig away in my sea-chist, with them blasted books that deluded me into goin’ to sea; an’ that will be the last of my bein’ a sailor. I’ve had enough of it. Darn the bunks! I want to sleep on a first-rate feather-bed the rest of my life.
L. J. Law! Henry. How you do talk!
Hank. It’s a fact, Leafy, so there! (_He goes up to her and tries to kiss her._)
L. J. (_pushing him away_). There! that will do, Henry. That’s seven times to-day since I came.
Hank. Is it? Well, ’tain’t any too many, anyhow!
J. Q. A. You great galloot! Catch me ever being such a fool. Say! what kind of a necktie you going to wear?
Hank. Oh, a stunner! blue and yallar, I guess. (_Looks at_ L. J.) Sha’n’t I, Leafy?
L. J. (_with dignity_). No, Henry; you must have one to match my dress.
J. Q. A. (_to_ L. J.). ’Fore I’d go taggin’ way down to New Orleans after a husband!
L. J. You’ll have to tag all round the world before you’ll find any one fool enough to wed _you_.
J. Q. A. I don’t think I shall ever “wed.” My affections have been blighted by a fair damsel from Chicago. She had large feet.
Mrs. G. Stop, John Quincy! Yer as sarsy daown here as yer was ter hum; ain’t ye l’arnt nothin’ by travellin’?
(PHUS, _who has been examining_ J. Q. A.’S _basket, attracted by the peanuts, puts his hand in his pocket for money to buy some, and, feeling a letter there, draws it forth_.)
Phus. Golly, I forgets dat let’! Mis’! mis’! here’s a let’; seems it mus’ be dat licens’. Yes! see dis great t’ing on it, big as a hoe-cake and red as a ’simmon.
Mary. (_eagerly_) Give it to me! (_Breaks the seal and hastily reads._)
NEW ORLEANS, Feb. 8, 1884.
MRS. MARY MILLER: Dear madam, I take great pleasure in forwarding to you a captain’s license, for a Mississippi steamboat, granted according to the decision of Secretary Folger, under Section 4439 of the Revised Statutes of the United States.
Very Respectfully, DANIEL DUMONT. Supervising Inspector-General.
(MARY _bursts into tears, and sits down_.)
Phus. Is it, mis’? Is it de licens’?
Mary. (_rising proudly, and holding it out_) Yes, it is my license; and I am Captain Mary Miller! (_Hands paper to_ CAPT. G.)
Hank. Hurrah! Three cheers for Captain Mary Miller!
J. Q. A. And a Tiger-r-r-rrr!
(PATSY _looks in, then enters and listens_).
Capt. G. I thought Charles J. Folger ’d hev the rights on’t.
Mrs. G. Them Folgers could allus be depended on to do the right thing; believed in ekality from the beginnin’. Old Ben Franklin was one on ’em, and Lucreshy Mott. They ain’t a bit like some o’ them Nantucket Halletts—allus on the wrong side of ekality.
Phus. Lor’ bress Cap’n Mary Miller, cap’n of de Keyhole’s Bride. (_Seizes his banjo, sings uproariously, and dances about._)
Bress de men at Washington,—’Lijah cum down, Dat made a woman cap’n,—’Lijah cum down. But bress above dem all,—’Lijah cum down. Good Seketelly Folger,—’Lijah cum down. May de charyott ob Erlijah swing him softly up to (_Slower_) Heben, An’ Mary Miller’s blessin’ be his eberlastin’ crown.
Mrs. G. (_to him, aside_). You go’n see ef he ain’t a-comin’. I can’t hold in much longer. (_Exit_ PHUS, R.)
Patsy. Faix, mum, I’ll shthay wid ye as lang as ye varnt.
Mary. But, Patsy, if you do stay, you must expect to obey orders.
Patsy. For sure, mum; I shpects to ’bey a raal laycensed cap’n. (_Goes to wheel and sits by it._)
Mary. And now I am captain of my own vessel in name as well as in reality. God bless Secretary Folger! He has saved us from want, protected our little home, and given a woman the right to be captain of her own boat. If William were only here!
Phus. (_entering in great excitement_) Oh, mis’! here’s de biggest s’prise in de worl’! (_Beckoning._) Dis way! Dis way!
(_Enter_ CAPTAIN MILLER, L. _All rise._)
Capt. M. Mary!
Mary. My dear William! I knew you would come back! (_Embraces him._)
Capt. M. Of course, my darling wife. Why shouldn’t I come back?
Mary. Why, the papers said your vessel had drifted from the rest, and—
Capt. M. That is true. But we drifted to some purpose, for we struck a splendid school of halibut, and we stayed till we filled up. That’s the reason I did not write. And when we landed, I ran up to Annisport, and found Mother Gandy and Leafy Jane wanted to come with me, and so we all came along together.
(_Shakes hands all round, returns to_ MARY.)
Mary. But, William, where have you been all this time?
Capt. M. Oh, I had to go to the bank for father to pay the interest on a note—
Mrs. G. But we thought we’d come right along—
Mary. Why didn’t you tell me, mother?
Mrs. G. William told me not to. He wanted to s’prise yer.
J. Q. A. She thought she wouldn’t “tell you all at once, for fear you couldn’t bore it.”
Phus. I seen de cap’n at de pos’-office. He say, “How Mis Miller?” I say, “Bos’, an’ de baby, too.” Golly, wa’n’t it a big s’prise?
Mary. See, William, here’s my license as captain. I sent to Washington for a license, and here it is. (_Shows it to him._)
Mrs. G. Think of aour Mary’s bein’ a cap’n. Haow lucky! An’, naow, if anything happens to you, William, she can allus get a livin’, ’cos she can manage her own boat.
J. Q. A. Yes, and she can paddle her own canoe.
L. J. John Quincy Adams Gandy, how very vulgar!
Capt. G. (_to_ WILLIAM). What’ll _you_ do, neaow Mary’s made capt’n? Haow’ll _you_ git along?
Mary. Oh, we’ll both be captains.
Capt. M. No! She shall be captain still; and I’ll be her mate. It won’t be the first time a man has sailed through life under the orders of a brave and true-hearted woman,—nor the last, I hope. And so, Captain Mary Miller, I salute you. (_Makes a naval salute._)
Phus. Wid a kiss! wid a kiss! Mars cap’n, kiss mis’ cap’n.
Capt. M. Yes, to please you, my good fellow (and myself also), it shall be with a kiss. (_Kisses her hand_). My captain!
_Disposition of characters_:
R. C. L. CAPT. G. MRS. G. HANK AND L. J.
Capt. M. AND MARY.
J. Q. A. PHUS.
Monologues from this play
- Capt. G monologue (Act 1) — Captain Mary Miller : $b A drama
- Mrs. G monologue (Act 1) — Captain Mary Miller : $b A drama
- Mary monologue (Act 3) — Captain Mary Miller : $b A drama
- Mary monologue (Act 4) — Captain Mary Miller : $b A drama
- Mary monologue (Act 5) — Captain Mary Miller : $b A drama
- Capt. G monologue (Act 5) — Captain Mary Miller : $b A drama