Tartuffe

Elmire, Orgon

Elmire. Bring the table here, and then crouch down low. Orgon. Why? Elmire. Hiding you well is to be desired. Orgon. Why under the table? Elmire. Just do what's required! I've made my plans and we'll see how they fare! Get under the table, and when you're down there, Don't let him see you and try not to grunt. Orgon. I really think I'm far too tolerant, But I'll stay through the end of your stratagem. Elmire. You won't, I'm sure, have a thing to condemn. [To her husband, who is now under the table.] Mind you, I'm going to have strange things to say And you must not be shocked in any way. Whatever I may say, you must allow; I only wish to convince you, anyhow. I'm going to use sex, since I'm reduced to it, To strip off the cloak of this hypocrite; I'll stoke up the fires of his insolent heart And give a free field to this base upstart. For your sake and to deepen his disrepute I'm going to pretend to welcome his suit. I'll quit just as soon as you've heard enough. Things needn't go farther than you wish, my love. And you must stop them from becoming bizarre When you think his mad love has gone too far. Spare your wife and don't leave me in his hands Longer than reaching your conviction demands. This is your concern and you are in command. Here he comes. Keep still! Keep down! Understand?