Comedy of Marriage and Other Tales

(M. de Sallus _and_ M. Jacques de Randol.)

M. De Sallus. My dear fellow, you will do me the greatest service if you will pass the whole evening here.

Jacques De Randol. But I have told you that I cannot.

M. De Sallus. Is it altogether--absolutely--impossible?

M. De Sallus. I most earnestly ask you to remain.

Jacques De Randol. And why?

M. De Sallus. For the best of reasons--because--because I want to make peace with my wife.

Jacques De Randol. Peace? Is there a rupture between you?

M. De Sallus. Not a very great one, but you know what you have seen this evening.

Jacques De Randol. Is it your fault or hers?

M. De Sallus. Oh, mine, I suppose.

Jacques De Randol. The devil!

M. De Sallus. I have had annoyances outside, serious annoyances, and they have made me bad-tempered, so much so that I have been unpleasant and aggressive in my behavior toward her.

Jacques De Randol. But I don't see how a third party can contribute toward peace between you.

M. De Sallus. My dear fellow, you will enable me to make her understand in an indirect manner, while avoiding all indelicate and wounding explanations, that my ideas concerning life have altogether changed.

Jacques De Randol. Then you wish to be--to be--reconciled to her altogether?

M. De Sallus. Oh, no, no, no--on the contrary--

Jacques De Randol. Pardon me, I do not understand you.

M. De Sallus. Listen: I wish to establish and maintain a _status quo_ of a pacific neutrality--a sort of Platonic peace. [_Laughs_.] But I am going into details that cannot interest you.

Jacques De Randol. Pardon me again. From the moment that you ask me to play a part in this very interesting affair, I must know exactly what part I am to play.

M. De Sallus. Why, just a conciliatory rôle.

Jacques De Randol. Then you wish to conclude a peace without restrictions for yourself?

M. De Sallus. Now you have it.

Jacques De Randol. That is to say, that, after the disappointments and annoyances of which you have just told me, and which I presume are ended, you wish to have peace at home and yet be free to enjoy any happiness that you may acquire outside.

M. De Sallus. Let me go farther. My dear fellow, the present situation between my wife and myself is very much strained, and I never care to find myself alone with her altogether, because my position is a false one.

Jacques De Randol. Oh, in that case, my dear fellow, I will remain.

M. De Sallus. All the evening?

Jacques De Randol. All the evening.

M. De Sallus. My dear De Randol, you are indeed a friend! I shall never forget it.

Jacques De Randol. Oh, never mind that. [_A short silence_.] Were you at the Opéra last night?

M. De Sallus. As usual.

Jacques De Randol. So it is a good performance?

M. De Sallus. Admirable.

Jacques De Randol. The Santelli scored a great success, didn't she?

M. De Sallus. Not only a success, but a veritable triumph. She was recalled six times.

Jacques De Randol. She _is_ good, isn't she?

M. De Sallus. More than admirable. She never sang better. In the first act she has a long recitative: “O God of all believers, hear my prayer,” which made the body of the house rise to their feet. And in the third act, after that phrase, “Bright heaven of beauty,” I never saw such enthusiasm.

Jacques De Randol. She was pleased?

M. De Sallus. Pleased? She was enchanted.

Jacques De Randol. You know her well, don't you?

M. De Sallus. Oh, yes, for some time back. I had supper with her and some of her friends after the performance.

Jacques De Randol. Were there many of you?

M. De Sallus. No, about a dozen. You know she is rather particular.

Jacques De Randol. It is pleasant to be intimate with her, is it not?

M. De Sallus. Exquisite! And then, you know, she is a woman in a million. I do not know whether you agree with me, but I find there are so few women that are really women.

JACQUES DE RANDOL [_laughs_]

I have found that out.

M. De Sallus. Yes, and you have found out that there are women who have a feminine air, but who are not women.

Jacques De Randol. Explain yourself.

M. De Sallus. Good gracious! Our society women, with very rare exceptions, are simply pictures; they are pretty; they are distinguished; but they charm you only in their drawing-rooms. The part they play consists entirely in making men admire their dress, their dainty ways, all of which are assumed.

Jacques De Randol. Men love them, nevertheless.

M. De Sallus. Oh, very rarely, my dear fellow.

Jacques De Randol. Pardon me!

M. De Sallus. Oh, yes, dreamers do. But men--real men--men who are passionate, men who are positive, men who are tender, do not love the society woman of to-day, since she is incapable of love. My dear fellow, look around you. You see intrigues--everyone sees them; but can you lay your finger upon a single real love affair--a love that is disinterested, such a love as there used to be--inspired by a single woman of our acquaintance? Don't I speak the truth? It flatters a man to have a mistress--it flatters him, it amuses him, and then it tires him. But turn to the other picture and look at the woman of the stage. There is not one who has not at least five or six love affairs on the carpet; idiotic follies, causing bankruptcy, scandal, and suicides. Men love them; yes, they love these women because these women know how to inspire love, and because they are loving women. Yes, indeed, _they_ know how to conquer men; they understand the seduction of a smile; they know how to attract, seize, and wrap us up in their hearts, how to enslave us with a look, and they need not be beautiful at that. They have a conquering power that we never find in our wives.

Jacques De Randol. And the Santelli is a seductress of this kind?

M. De Sallus. She is first among the first! Ah, the cunning little coquette! _She_ knows how to make men run after her.

Jacques De Randol. Does she do only that?

M. De Sallus. A woman of that sort does not give herself the trouble of making men run after her unless she has some further object in view.

Jacques De Randol. The devil! You make me believe you attend two first nights in the same evening.

M. De Sallus. My dear boy, don't imagine such a thing.

Jacques De Randol. Great heavens! you have such a satisfied and triumphant air--an air so desirous of calm at home. If I am deceived I am sorry--for your sake.

M. De Sallus. Well, we will assume that you are deceived and--