The White Christmas and other Merry Christmas Plays

_Same as scene before. The wash-tub has been removed, also the washing from the line. The table has been straightened and_ MRS. O'TOOLE _is seated there making a toy elephant._ MRS. MULLIGAN _is seated at L. dressing a doll body in a baby's dress. The candle burns before the window._

Mrs. O'Toole. It's lucky for us, darlin', that me husband is out at his lodge tonight. I can stay with you until the children return from the entertainment, and maybe it's a bit of a Christmas Eve high-jinks we can be having afterwards.

Mrs. Mulligan. Indade, I'm glad to have ye, Kathleen. Will your husband be long at lodge?

Mrs. O'Toole. (_cutting the elephant's ears from brown paper_) He will that. Pat is the Grand Exalted Chafe Ruler of the Benevolent and Obstreperous Order of United Wooden-men, and he won't be home till marnin'.

Mrs. Mulligan. Is he now? The late Mr. Mulligan was niver much of a lodge joiner but that made no difference to him; he niver came home till marnin', lodge or no lodge.

Mrs. O'Toole. Remember, Mollie, you're coming over to dinner with us tomorrow. It's at one o'clock.

Mrs. Mulligan. Oh, Kathleen, I can't be laving the children at all, at all. On Christmas Day, too.

Mrs. O'Toole. Of course you can't. Ye're going to bring the children over with ye.

Mrs. Mulligan. The whole tin of them?

MRS. O'TOOLE (_counting on fingers_).

Patsy and Matsy, And Teddy Magee, Nora Eudora, And Micky Machree, Bridget Honora, And sweet Mary Ann, Melissa, Clarissa, And wee Peter Pan.

Mrs. Mulligan. And ye're willing for the whole bunch of us to come?

Mrs. O'Toole. All but the goat. I draw the line at Shamus O'Brien. Ye see it's this way. Me man, Pat, won a turkey in a raffle, and it's as big as a billy-goat. Then on top of that me daughter Toozy, that's married and lives in the country, sent us two chickens and a goose. And there's only me and Pat to ate all that.

Mrs. Mulligan. Kathleen O'Toole, it's a saint ye are.

Mrs. O'Toole. I says to Pat, says I, "Christmas ain't Christmas at all, at all, unless there's some children at the dinner." "What'll we do?" says Pat. "Invite the Mulligans," says I. And Pat was tickled to death. We've potatoes and squash and cabbage from me own garden, and we've oyster dressing and cramberries and stewed corn and apple fritters, and it's meself that has made eight mince pies, and four punkin ones--and I think we'll be after having a dinner on Christmas Day that would do credit to ould Saint Patrick himself.

Mrs. Mulligan. Sure, ye almost make me cry for joy, Kathleen O'Toole, and after the goat trated ye the way he did, too.

Mrs. O'Toole. If a woman can't be neighborly and loving on Christmas Day, Mollie Mulligan, sure I'm thinking she niver can be neighborly and loving at all, at all.

Mrs. Mulligan. And ye're aven makin' a bit of an iliphant for wee Peter Pan.

Mrs. O'Toole. I am that. Here's the little, fat body. (_Shows cylindrical piece of dark green squash._) And here's the four legs. (_Shows two bananas cut in half._) I'll just stick the legs on with nails--and there he stands. Now, here's a little potato for a head, and an ould skinny carrot for a trunk. I'll stick them on with a hair pin. (_Does so._) Now, I'll stick on the ears and put in the shoe-button eyes, and with this wee bit of black paper for a tailpiece, and there ye are. Mr. Mumbo Jumbo Mulligan as natural as life and twice as handsome. (_Shows elephant to audience._)

Mrs. Mulligan. Here's a doll baby I've dressed, but it's no head she has at all, at all.

Mrs. O'Toole. Use a big yellow apple or a wee yellow punkin, and put on a baby cap--and there ye are. Stick in some buttons for eyes, and a wee nose and mouth of red paper--and stick the head on the body with some hair pins, and the quane herself niver had a better doll baby.

Mrs. Mulligan. I'll put her right here on the table alongside of the iliphant.

Mrs. O'Toole. It's nine o'clock, it is. Isn't it time for the children to be home?

Mrs. Mulligan. (_goes to door at R._) It is that. (_Looks out._) And here they come now.

(_The children are heard outside at R., singing to the tune of "Marching Through Georgia."_)

The Mulligans are coming now, as happy as can be, We've been to the Sunday School and saw the Christmas tree, Had a lark with Santa Claus and take a tip from me, We'll all be marching on Christmas!

(_They march in from R., come down to front and line up._)

Hurrah, hurrah, the Mulligans are here, Hurrah, hurrah, for Santa Claus so dear, Sure, it was a happy night, The best one in the year, And we'll be marching on Christmas!

Patsy got a trumpet, little Micky got a drum, Matsy got a spinning top, you ought to hear it hum, Clarissa got a candy cane, oh, won't we have the fun, When we are marching on Christmas!

Hurrah, hurrah, the Mulligans are here, Hurrah, hurrah, for Santa Claus so dear, Sure, it was a happy night, The best one in the year. And we'll be marching on Christmas.

Nora got a picture-book, Melissa got a rake, Every Mulligan on deck got oranges and cake, Got a bag of candy, too--and got the stomachache, But we'll be marching on Christmas.

Hurrah, hurrah, the Mulligans are here, Hurrah, hurrah, for Santa Claus so dear, Sure, it was a happy night, The best one in the year. And we'll be marching on Christmas.

(_They march around stage while singing the chorus, but line up in front while singing the verses. Use gestures to indicate the different persons and their toys._)

Mrs. Mulligan. And did ye have a good time at the entertainment?

Bridget. Indade and we did that. It was as good as a circus parade and a picture show together. They treated us just lovely.

Mrs. Mulligan. Did they now? And you wasn't invited at all, at all.

Matsy. They gave us a seat way up in front, and Micky Machree acted like a pig, he did. Sure, he grabbed two oranges.

Mrs. Mulligan. Why, Micky, it's ashamed of ye I am.

Micky. I grabbed one to bring home to you, maw. I wanted you to have some of the Christmas present, too.

Mrs. Mulligan. (_hugs him_) That's just like your father, Micky.

Mrs. O'Toole. (_helping children off with hats, wraps, etc._) And did ye have a good time, wee Peter Pan?

PETER PAN. Scwumptious, just scwumptious.

Mary Ann. And me sash niver busted in two at all. And I was one of the most stylish young ladies present, so I was.

Melissa. And they had a great, big Christmas tree. Clean up to the ceiling. With lights and toys and candy and little stars and bright fairies and angels and everything.

Patsy. And ould Santy Claus was there with a long white beard and a big pack of presents to everyone.

Clarissa. And I pulled Santa Claus' whiskers and they nearly fell off. He must be getting pretty old, 'cause his whiskers is coming loose.

Bridget. And Santy Claus called out all the names and everybody got up when their names was called and he gave 'em a present.

Micky. And they never called our names at all, at all.

Mrs. Mulligan. That's because they didn't know them. They didn't expect you at the party.

Mary Ann. It was a surprise party, maw.

Mrs. Mulligan. How was it a surprise party, Mary Ann?

Mary Ann. They all looked surprised when we came in.

Nora. When I saw they weren't going to call out our names, I just rose up in me seat and took the whole nine of 'em by the hand and marched right up to Santa Claus. He looked real surprised at the bunch of us.

Mrs. Mulligan. I should think he would.

Nora. "And who are you?" says he. "We're the ten little Mulligans from Mulligan Alley in Shantytown," says I, as cool as an icicle. "And we're ready for our presents, if it's all the same to you," says I. I thought they was going to fire us out, but what did he do but dive way down in the bottom of the sack and give every last one of us a present?

Teddy. And then he gave us bags of candy and oranges and apples and peanuts and popcorn and a candy cane, and then they had a show and Bridget Honora spoke a piece, she did.

Mrs. O'Toole. How did ye happen to spake a piece, Bridget Honora?

Bridget. I just stood up and told 'em I knowed one. There ain't nuthin' bashful about me. And I kind o' thought we ought to do something to help pay fer the good things they gave us.

Mrs. Mulligan. (_petting her_) That's me good little Bridget Honora.

Melissa. (_sees doll on table_) Oh, wee! Lookee there! Where'd she come from?

Mrs. O'Toole. Santa Claus was after being here while you were away and he left it for you.

Melissa. Is it all for me?

Mrs. Mulligan. It's the Mulligan dolly. It's fer all ten of yeez.

Patsy. She can have my share. I don't want no dolls.

Micky. Oh, look at the efulunt. Look at the efulunt.

Mrs. O'Toole. That is Mumbo Jumbo Mulligan from the sunny shores of Africa, way down in Louisiana.

Children. Who's he fur? Who's he fur?

PETER PAN (_takes elephant_). He's fur me. Scwumptious!

Teddy. Maw, they had a show there at the Sunday School. There was a wee little man, about so long (_measures about two feet_), and he stood up on a table and sang a song, so he did.

Patsy. Humph! I know how they did that. Matsy and me can show it to you.

Melissa. And they had the Turnover Topsy Turvies, too.

Clarissa. They stood upside down on their heads.

Mrs. Mulligan. My, my--but it must have been a wonderful show.

Mrs. O'Toole. Just think what we missed, Mollie Mulligan.

Matsy. I didn't miss nothin'. I never miss nothin' no time.

Nora. We could give just as good a show our own selves.

Others. Let's do it; let's do it. Let's give a show for maw and Mis' O'Toole.

Teddy. Would you like to see it, maw?

Mrs. Mulligan. If it ain't too late.

Mrs. O'Toole. What matters it how late it is? Christmas comes but once a year----

All. And when it comes it brings good cheer.

Mrs. Mulligan. Then sure we'll have the show. Poor folks can be just as happy on Christmas Day as rich folks. It's all in the way you feel about it.

Patsy. Now, maw, you and Mrs. O'Toole take your seats out there in front. (_Points to front row of the audience._)

Matsy. I'll help you carry them out. (_They carry down two chairs from the stage and seat_ MRS. MULLIGAN _and_ MRS. O'TOOLE _in the audience._)

Patsy. Now, we'll have to draw the curtain to get the stage ready.

Nora. And while we're getting ready Mary Ann can say her piece.

CURTAIN FALLS.

Mrs. Mulligan. (_in audience_) My, my, Kathleen, what a large crowd of people are here tonight. I'm afraid I'm not dressed up for the occasion.

Mrs. O'Toole. Dressed up, is it? Indade you are. Ye have on short sleeves and a low-neck dress. What more would ye want? There's the minister and his wife setting right back there. (_Speaks to them._) Good avening, Brother ----; sure, it's a fine avening we're having, is it not?

Mrs. Mulligan. (_speaks to a lady in audience_) My, my, is it yourself, Mrs. ----? Sure, I'm glad to see ye out. It's a long time since I've had the pleasure of seeing you. (_Speaks to several children._) And there's ---- and ---- and ----. I'm glad to see all of yeez. Sure, some day yeez must come over to me house in Mulligan Alley and I'll let you play with the goat, Shamus O'Brien.

Mrs. O'Toole. I see the young ladies over there, and each one of them has a young man. My, my, it does me ould heart good to see the young folks enjoying themselves. It ain't so many years since me and Pat was courting each other just like the rest of yeez.

Mrs. Mulligan. Mrs. O'Toole, do you see that young man sitting there all by his lonesome? Ain't it a shame? And him such a good looking young feller, too. I've a good notion to go over there and cheer him up a bit. Maybe his girl is here with another fellow.

Mrs. O'Toole. Sure, there's plenty of girls here without any fellows at all, at all. Why should a young man sit all alone like a bump on a log, whin there's so many handsome colleens waiting for the chance at him?

Mrs. Mulligan. Whist, Mrs. O'Toole, it's making him embarrassed yeez are. Will you look at the red color in his face?

Mrs. O'Toole. If ye ask me my opinion, Mollie Mulligan, sure and I think he's after waiting fer one of yer own lovely daughters.

Mrs. Mulligan. Well, he might go further and fare worse. Nora Eudora's a fine girl, if I do say it myself.

Mrs. O'Toole. Whist, here comes Mary Ann out in front of the curtain to spake her piece.

(MARY ANN _comes in front of the curtain, makes a bow and recites:_)

LETTER TO SANTA CLAUS.

Blessed old Santa Claus, king of delights, What are you doing these long winter nights? Filling your budgets with trinkets and toys, Wonderful gifts for the girls and the boys. While you are planning for everything nice, Pray let me give you a bit of advice.

Don't take it hard if I say in your ear, Santa, I thought you were partial last year; Loading the rich folks with everything gay, Snubbing the poor ones who came in your way. Now of all times of the year I am sure This is the time to remember the poor.

Plenty of children there are in our city, Who have no fathers or mothers to pity; Plenty of people whose working and heeding Scarcely can keep all their dear ones from needing. Now, if I came every year in December, These are the ones I would surely remember.

Once on a beautiful Christmas you know Jesus our Saviour was born here below, Patiently stooping to hunger and pain, So He might save us, His lost ones, from shame; Now if we love Him, He bids us to feed All His poor brothers and sisters who need.

Blessed old Nick! I was sure if you knew it, You would remember and certainly do it; This year, at least, when you empty your pack, Pray give a portion to all who may lack. Then, if there's anything left and you can Bring a small gift to wee Peter Pan.

_--Emily H. Miller.--Adapted._

Mrs. O'Toole. (_applauding vigorously_) Wasn't that dandy? Sure, little Mary Ann has a wonderful education, so she has!

Mrs. Mulligan. She takes after her own mother. I was just like her when I was that age.

Mrs. O'Toole. And you're just like her still, Mollie Mulligan. Sure you're the sunshine of Mulligan Alley and the belle of Shantytown.

Mrs. Mulligan. Whist now! It's covered I am wid blushes. But, hush! I think the show is about to begin.