Allen monologue (Act 3) — Woodbarrow Farm: Play in Three Acts

(_Springing up and throwing book at him. Piff. exits r._) Yes. (_Piff. again appears hurriedly at door r. and cries, “Upstart bumpkin,” and exit quickly._) I’ll give ’ee my toe on the spot if I hear any more of--(_reseats himself, with a grunt of disgust; a pause, during which he smokes._) He is right, I wurn’t meant for a gentleman after all. Some of us was built for gaiters, and some on us for patent leather shoes, and I be one of the gaiter sort--all my tastes are low. I doan’t like claret and I doan’t like cigarettes. I’m uncomfortable in a collar (_picking his up and fixing it_) and I prefer shove-ha’penny to billiards. (_Sighs, continues dreamily._) Ah, I’d gie a trifle to be going to spend this evening at the Dunkery Arms a-halping to sing a chorus with old Joe Steddles and young Jem Whalley and Jack Clouter. Ah, he’d got a fine voice, had old Jack Clouter. Never heard a man sing so loud in all my life. Lord, I shall never forget her’s doing “Rock me to sleep, mother,” round at the lodge, and a waking up mother Hammond’s three kids just as her’d got un all off to sleep. Lord, how her let us have it. (_Laughing._) Ah, us went home early that night. (_Chuckling._) They coned back wi’ me, old Jack and Jim, and Deb made us a veal pasty for supper. (_Smiling._) Ah, her do make good--