Starbottle monologue (Act 1) — Two Men of Sandy Bar: A Drama

(interrupting) A single moment. (To DON JOSE.) Permit me to--er--er--explain. As my friend Mr. Morton states, we are, in fact, at present engaged in--er--er--quest--er--pilgrimage that possibly to some, unless deterred by considerations of responsibility--personal responsibility--sir--Ged, sir, might be looked upon as visionary, enthusiastic, sentimental, fanatical. We are seeking a son, or, as my friend tersely and scripturally expresses it--er--er--prodigal son. I say scripturally, sir, and tersely, but not, you understand it, literally, nor I may add, sir, legally. Ged, sir, as a precedent, I admit we are wrong. To the best of my knowledge, sir, the--er--Prodigal Son sought his own father. To be frank, sir,--and Ged, sir, if Culpepper Starbottle has a fault, it is frankness, sir. As Nelse Buckthorne said to me in Nashville, in '47, "You would infer, Col. Starbottle, that I equivocate." I replied, "I do, sir; and permit me to add that equivocation has all the guilt of a lie, with cowardice superadded." The next morning at nine o'clock, Ged, sir, he gasped to me--he was lying on the ground, hole through his left lung just here (illustrating with DON JOSE'S coat),--he gasped, "If you have a merit, Star, above others, it is frankness!" his last words, sir,--demn me.... To be frank, sir, years ago, in the wild exuberance of youth, the son of this gentleman left his--er--er--er--boyhood's home, owing to an innocent but natural misunderstanding with the legal protector of his youth--