Starbottle monologue (Act 1) — Two Men of Sandy Bar: A Drama

(interrupting, aside to ALEXANDER MORTON) Ahem! ahem! (Aloud to DON JOSE.) My friend's manner, sir, reminds me of--er--er--Ram Bootgum Sing, first secretary of Turkish legation at Washington in '45; most remarkable man--demn me--most remarkable--and warm personal friend. Challenged Tod Robinson for putting him next to Hebrew banker at dinner, with remark--demn me--that they were both believers in the profit! he, he! Amusing, perhaps; irreverent, certainly. Fought with cimeters. Second pass, Ram divided Tod in two pieces--fact, sir--just here (pointing) in--er--er--regions of moral emotions. Upper half called to me,--said to me warningly--last words--never forget it,--"Star,"--always called me Star,--"Respect man's religious convictions." Legs dead; emotion confined to upper part of body--pathetic picture. Ged, sir, something to be remembered!