Starbottle monologue (Act 4) — Two Men of Sandy Bar: A Drama

(taking seat beside her) Allow me, Miss Mary, a few moments of confidential--er--confidential disclosure. To-day is, as you are aware--the day on which, according to--er--agreement between parties, my friend and client, Mr. Morton, sen.,--formally accepts his prodigal son. It is my--er--duty to state that--er--the gentleman who has for the past year occupied that position has behaved with great discretion, and--er--fulfilled his part of the--er--agreement. But it would--er--appear that there has been a--er--slight delusion regarding the identity of that prodigal,--a delusion shared by all the parties except, perhaps, myself. I have to prepare you for a shock. The gentleman whom you have recently known as Alexander Morton, jun., is not the prodigal son; is not your--er--cousin; is, in fact, no relation to you. Prepare yourself, Miss Mary, for a little disappointment,--for-- er--degradation. The genuine son has been--er--discovered in the person of--er--low menial--or--vagabond,--"Sandy," the--er--outcast of Red Gulch!