Starbottle monologue (Act 4) — Two Men of Sandy Bar: A Drama

Eh? Ged! not uncommon, sir, not uncommon! I remember singular incident at--er--Louisville in '47. Old Judge Tollim--know old Judge Tolly?--Ged! he came to ground drunk, sir; couldn't stand! Demn me, sir, had to put him into position with kitchen poker down his back, and two sections of lightning-rod in his--er--trousers, demn me! Firm, sir, firm, you understand, here (striking his breast), but--here (striking his legs)--er--er--wobbly! No, sir! Intoxication of principal not a bar, sir, to personal satisfaction! (Goes towards sofa with eyeglass.) Good Ged! why, it's Diego! (Returning stifly to OAKHURST.) Excuse me, sir, but this is a case in which I cannot act. Cannot, sir,--impossible! absurd! pre--post--or--ous! I recogmze in the--er--inebriated menial on yonder sofa a person, sir, who, having already declined my personal challenge, is--er--excluded from the consideration of gentlemen. The person who lies there, sir, is Diego,--a menial of Don Jose Castro,---alias "Sandy," the vagabond of Red Gulch.