Tilly monologue (Act 1) — Three Hats: A Farcical Comedy in Three Acts

(entering, R. 2 E.) Nobody's up yet and so I can go to the window and kiss my hand to the night policeman before he goes off his beat. (Going to window.) There he is, leaning against the lamp post like a "Polly bellvurdear" in blue. It's 'is whiskers as first won my heart! I always had a weakness for whiskers and I'm sure they are the finest in the force! Oh! what rapture to hear the clergyman say to those whiskers, "Wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife," and to hear those whiskers reply, "I will," and then to walk arm in arm with them down the church----(DIBBS comes behind her and takes her by the waist; she screams.) Ah!