Queckett monologue — The Schoolmistress: A Farce in Three Acts

To whom am I indebted for being let out? Was it by way of treachery, I wonder? Somebody has been sitting up late, or rising early! Who is it? [_Sniffing and looking about him, then going straight to the mantelpiece, taking up the tumbler and smelling the contents._] I am anxious not to do any one an injustice, but that's Peggy. Oh, what a night I've passed! I have no hesitation in saying that the extremely bad behaviour of Caroline--of the lady I have married--and the ungovernable rage of Rankling, are indelibly impressed upon me. [_Looking round nervously._] Good gracious! I am actually in the room where Rankling announced his intention of ultimately dislocating my vertebræ. I shall certainly not winter in England. [_The clock strikes seven, he looks at his watch._] Seven. It will be wise to remain here till the first gleam of daylight, and then leave the house--unostentatiously. I will exchange no explanations with Caroline. I shall simply lay the whole circumstance of my injudicious, boyish marriage before my brother Bob and the other members of my family. Any allowance which Caroline may make me shall come through them. [_There is a sound of something falling and breaking outside the room._] The deuce! What's that? [_Going on tip-toe over to the door, and peeping out._] Somebody has knocked something over. [_Snatching up his hat, gloves, and umbrella._] I sha'n't wait till daybreak if they're breaking other things. [_He hurries to the other door, opens it, looks out, and closes it quickly.'_] People sitting on the stairs! Is this a plot to surround me? The conservatory? [_He goes quickly to the conservatory doors, opens them, then draws back closing them quickly._] Two persons under a palm tree. [_There is a knock at the door on the rights_] Oh! [_Seeing the door leading to the dark room._] Where does that lead to? [_He tries the door, unlocks it and looks in._] A dark room! Oh, I'm so thankful!