Crabtree monologue (Act 1) — The School for Scandal

Why one evening at Mrs. Ponto's Assembly--the conversation happened to turn on the difficulty of breeding Nova-Scotia Sheep in this country--says a young Lady in company[, "]I have known instances of it[--]for Miss Letitia Shepherd, a first cousin of mine, had a Nova-Scotia Sheep that produced her Twins.["--"]What!["] cries the old Dowager Lady Dundizzy (who you know is as deaf as a Post), ["]has Miss Letitia Shepherd had twins["]--This Mistake--as you may imagine, threw the whole company into a fit of Laughing--However 'twas the next morning everywhere reported and in a few Days believed by the whole Town, that Miss Letitia Shepherd had actually been brought to Bed of a fine Boy and Girl--and in less than a week there were People who could name the Father, and the Farm House where the Babies were put out to Nurse.