Governor monologue (Act 1) — The Inspector-General

I had a sort of presentiment of it. Last night I kept dreaming of two rats--regular monsters! Upon my word, I never saw the likes of them--black and supernaturally big. They came in, sniffed, and then went away.--Here's a letter I'll read to you--from Andrey Ivanovich. You know him, Artemy Filippovich. Listen to what he writes: "My dear friend, godfather and benefactor--[He mumbles, glancing rapidly down the page.]--and to let you know"--Ah, that's it--"I hasten to let you know, among other things, that an official has arrived here with instructions to inspect the whole government, and your district especially. [Raises his finger significantly.] I have learned of his being here from highly trustworthy sources, though he pretends to be a private person. So, as you have your little peccadilloes, you know, like everybody else--you are a sensible man, and you don't let the good things that come your way slip by--" [Stopping] H'm, that's his junk--"I advise you to take precautions, as he may arrive any hour, if he hasn't already, and is not staying somewhere incognito.--Yesterday--" The rest are family matters. "Sister Anna Krillovna is here visiting us with her husband. Ivan Krillovich has grown very fat and is always playing the fiddle"--et cetera, et cetera. So there you have the situation we are confronted with, gentlemen.