Jarvis monologue (Act 2) — The Ghost Breaker: A Melodramatic Farce in Four Acts

Oh--oh--Lord! (_Carries this business at far as legitimate. With every movement getting out of trunk finds new pain._) If I only had that last baggage man by the neck! Oh--a--oh, Lord! (_Crosses left and drinks water._) Well, I'm all here, most all. (_Feels elbow that is evidently skinned. Shoes are bent up from being doubled up in trunk. Sees them._) My feet are bent. (_Goes to stoop down to get them--gets stitch in back. Drinks._) Oh--oh--o! (_Hobbles over to looking glass, then to telephone_ R.) Hello--hello--give me Mr. Jarvis' stateroom. Please--Jarvis--Warren Jarvis. No. I don't know the number. All right. (_Pause._) Hello--Rusty? Come on up here quick and bring me an overcoat, cap and scarf. What's that? Hold on, I'll see. (_Pause, then opens door_ L. _and looks at number on outside; shuts door; back to telephone_) Stateroom A--promenade deck--and bring up that big bundle--quick, now! (_Hangs up--crosses and looks out window._) Well, good-bye, America. I don't know when I'll see your shores again. (_Shuts trunk and sits on it._) If Rusty gets here before that Exalted Cousin returns, I'll be all right. Hm--ouch!--I wonder what the game is? (_Knock at door._) Go away--we're all very ill. (JARVIS, _uncertain who it is, starts to hide. Door opens very cautiously. Enter_ RUSTY _carrying bundle of trays taken in first act_.)