Van Rough monologue (Act 5) — The Contrast

Ha, ha, ha! Mark me, Mary; young folks think old folks to be fools; but old folks know young folks to be fools. Why, I knew all about this affair:--This was only a cunning way I had to bring it about. Hark ye! I was in the closet when you and he were at our house. [_Turns to the company._] I heard that little baggage say she loved her old father, and would die to make him happy! Oh! how I loved the little baggage!--And you talked very prudently, young man. I have inquired into your character, and find you to be a man of punctuality and mind the main chance. And so, as you love Mary, and Mary loves you, shall have my consent immediately to be married. I'll settle my fortune on you, and go and live with you the remainder of my life.