Imogen monologue (Act 4) — The Cabinet Minister: A farce in four acts

"Dear Mr. White." I shall never call him Valentine again, except in my thoughts. [Reading.] "Dear Mr. White, I am sorry to hear that you are discontented with your recent appointment to the Deputy-Assistant-Head-Gamekeepership on the Drumdurris estate, and that you consider it a sinecure fit only for a debilitated peer." Now for it. [Resuming.] "Permit me to take this opportunity of informing you that I have at length consented to an engagement between myself and Sir Colin Macphail of Ballocheevin." Oh, how awful it looks in ink! [Resuming.] "As it is becoming that I should support such a position with dignity I would prefer not encountering your dislike to 'stuck-up people' by ever seeing you again." Oh, Val. "I therefore suggest that you obtain a nastier appointment than that of Deputy-Assistant-Head-Gamekeeper at Drumdurris without delay." That will do--beautifully. [In tears.] Oh, Val, why have you never spoken? I know you are poor, but I would have gone away with you and lived cheerfully and economically in that rock if you had but asked me. Why, why have you never asked me?