Yardsley monologue — The Bicyclers and Three Other Farces

(with a convulsive gasp) Bob? Jennie! You--er--you misun--(Jennie, with a smile of joy and an ecstatic glance at Yardsley, dances from the room to attend the door. Yardsley throws himself into a chair.) Well, I'll be teetotally--Awh! It's too dead easy proposing to somebody you don't know you are proposing to. What a kettle of fish this is, to be sure! Oh, pshaw! that woman can't be serious. She must know I didn't mean it for her. But if she doesn't, good Lord! what becomes of me? (Rises, and paces up and down the room nervously. After a moment he pauses before the glass.) I ought to be considerably dishevelled by this. I feel as if I'd been drawn through a knot-hole--or--or dropped into a stone-crusher-- that's it, a stone-crusher--a ten million horse power stone-crusher. Let's see how you look, you poor idiot.