Pawkins monologue — Retained for the Defence: A Farce, in One Act

Ah! werry good! Jines hands and gives the paternal blessing! All right and proper! But wot good comes to me on it all? It strikes me you are a rum lot--you are. There's this 'ere wenerable party--(DE WINDSOR) asks me to 'is house--gives me a hice, which doesn't agree with me, and does me out o' three bob at cards! Here's another chap (FERGUSON) as talks as if he had gooseberries in his mouth, and tries to stop my windpipe. Then here's a sort o' costermonger in disguise (THWAITES) as interferes with my young 'oman.--And here--(WHITEWASH) here's the wust villain on 'em all. Ladies and gents, if I'm in any trouble touching your good-will--him's the party you must pitch into--cos vy? Don't you see? He's retained for the defence.