Cod monologue — Married Life: A Comedy, in Three Acts

Excuse my coming in so unceremoniously--I knew you were here--I saw you come home--merely called to oblige Mrs. Coddle. There's that window still open; permit me to shut it.--(_He crosses to R. H., and pulls down the window._)--Mrs. Lynx has hinted to my wife that a familiarity exists between you and her, and one that I ought not to shut my eyes to; now, I candidly confess that I have opened them as wide as I can, and what Mrs. Lynx can possibly see I am at a loss to guess. But entirely to oblige my wife, I call here, at the risk of my life--as I did not intend coming out any more to-day--to ask if such a familiarity really exists? Mrs. Coddle demands it, for my own satisfaction. If I am not satisfied, she insists on my fighting you; and if I am, she is determined to make Mrs. Lynx beg her pardon. Now, what is to be done?