Cæsar monologue — Diminutive dramas

(_opening the letter_) It is from Catullus. (_Reading_) “A terrible catastrophe has happened. Going home last night from the Esquiline I got my feet wet, and this has affected my style; my hexameters are beginning to limp and my elegiacs are gouty. The doctor says the only thing which can cure me is a quiet night’s rest and some oysters from Britain. But it is unlikely that I shall find any in Rome. In view of these distressing circumstances I fear I must put off coming to-night to your dinner-party. Quite seriously, I am unwell. With a thousand compliments to Calpurnia.--Wretched CATULLUS.” “_P.S._--I was half engaged to Lucullus to-night, so if you see him later, tell him I _was_ going to dine with you.”