Mrs. B monologue — Comediettas and Farces

He's gone at last! I declare I was all in a tremble for fear Mr. Box would come in before Mr. Cox went out. Luckily, they've never met yet; and what's more, they're not very likely to do so; for Mr. Box is hard at work at a newspaper office all night, and doesn't come home till the morning, and Mr. Cox is busy making hats all day long, and doesn't come home till night; so that I'm getting double rent for my room, and neither of my lodgers is any the wiser for it. It was a capital idea of mine--that it was! But I haven't an instant to lose. First of all, let me put Mr. Cox's things out of Mr. Box's way. (_She takes the three hats, COX'S dressing-gown and slippers, opens door at L. and puts them in, then shuts door and locks it._) Now, then, to put the key where Mr. Cox always finds it. (_Puts the key on the ledge of the door, L._) I really must beg Mr. Box not to smoke so much. I was so dreadfully puzzled to know what to say when Mr. Cox spoke about it. Now, then, to make the bed; and don't let me forget that what's the head of the bed for Mr. Cox becomes the foot of the bed for Mr. Box--people's tastes do differ so. (_Goes behind the curtains of the bed, and seems to be making it; then appears with a very thin bolster in her hand._) The idea of Mr. Cox presuming to complain of such a bolster as this! (_She disappears again behind curtains._)