Lady monologue — Comediettas and Farces

(_slowly turning her head and taking a glance at GENTLEMAN_). Well, I must confess he put away his smoking apparatus with a very good grace! (_Sees newspaper._) Some one has left a newspaper! (_Taking newspaper and reading._) Um, um! _Plymouth Gazette._ "Foreign News," "Paris Fashions," "Early Strawberries." What's this? "Escape of a convict. We learn that Benjamin Burkshaw, a criminal of the most desperate character, effected his escape from Dartmoor prison yesterday. The following is his description: Age, not exactly known; eyes, nothing peculiar; wears a long black beard--has probably cut it off; walks slightly lame with one leg, uncertain which; supposed to have directed his steps towards London, or in some other direction." Dear me! it is just possible he may be in this very train! (_looking aside at the GENTLEMAN, then reading again_). "Middle height" (_looking again at GENTLEMAN_); "inclined to be stout" (_another look at GENTLEMAN_); he's so rolled up in his rug one can't judge! (_Reads again._) "Slightly bald, with a scar on left side of forehead" (_here the GENTLEMAN in his sleep hastily pulls his travelling-cap over his forehead; the LADY gives a sudden start, and recoils as far as possible from the GENTLEMAN_). How very suddenly he pulled his cap over his forehead--and the left side of it too! Pshaw! how foolish, how absurd of me! (_Reads paper again, and then closes her eyes once more._)