Gentleman monologue — Comediettas and Farces

(_suddenly waking and shifting his position_) Decidedly, of all the uncomfortable seats this is the most uncomfortable. I _should_ like to know what they stuff their cushions with; I feel as if I'd got a quartern loaf at my back! (_Taking a rapid glance at LADY, then, in a savage tone._) _She_ seems comfortable enough! How absurd--how ridiculous of me not to have demanded--not to have in-sis-ted. (_Looking again at LADY._) By Jove, she _is_ young! and by no means bad-looking! Bad-looking! she's pretty--_very_ pretty--_excessively_ pretty! and to think I should have actually gone to sleep in her presence! One never knows what one does in one's sleep; luckily, I never snore; that's one comfort! (_Takes off his travelling-cap, arranges his hair, cravat, etc._) How soundly she sleeps--if she _does_ sleep! (_in doubt_). When one is _really_ asleep--I mean _fast_ asleep--it isn't usual to wear a smile on one's face; on the contrary, one's face generally gets ugly! I'll be bound that just now I was positively hideous! (_He coughs loudly, the LADY moves._) She wakes! (_Suddenly and loudly._) What a beautiful country! what a lovely green on those meadows! (_LADY keeps silence._) I'll try again! (_Still louder._) How unusually beautiful are the autumn tints, especially so early in the spring! (_Pause; aside._) No response? She must have taken a sleeping draught!