Ted monologue (Act 6) — Christmas Candles: Plays for Boys and Girls

[_softly_] I just can't go to bed yet. Robin went to sleep the very minute he got into bed. Don't see how he could. Maggie thinks I'm all nicely tucked in, and she's gone downstairs. [_Goes to fireplace and looks up chimney._] I do wish I could catch Santa Claus. No signs of him yet, and I don't hear the sleigh-bells. I think I'll just sit down and wait. [_Crosses to his own chair, and sits facing audience, with one elbow on table._] I believe I could give Santa Claus a few pointers, anyway. [BROWNIE _puts his head out of fireplace, and then shows himself entirely, gradually creeping nearer and nearer_ TED, _as if irresistibly drawn by his remarks._] He does give people pretty much what they ask for, but [_slowly_] if he just stopped a minute to think about it, he'd find out what silly things they do think they want, sometimes. But [_sighs_] he's getting so old that he doesn't find it out at all. [BROWNIE, _behind him, raises his hands in horror, then shakes his fist at_ TED.] I really think it would be a good thing for Santa Claus to choose one person in each family to help him out,--with the planning, anyway, if he doesn't like to have anyone else fill the stockings. S'posing he chose me! I could help him a lot! [BROWNIE _springs excitedly on the table, and bends over_ TED, _shaking his fist in his face._]