Play on Words

seriocomic · any · ~1 min · 214 words

Lord Goring monologue (Act 3) — An Ideal Husband

That will do. [_Exit_ PHIPPS.] Lady Chiltern’s handwriting on Lady Chiltern’s pink notepaper. That is rather curious. I thought Robert was to write. Wonder what Lady Chiltern has got to say to me? [_Sits at bureau and opens letter_, _and reads it_.] ‘I want you. I trust you. I am coming to you. Gertrude.’ [_Puts down the letter with a puzzled look_. _Then takes it up_, _and reads it again slowly_.] ‘I want you. I trust you. I am coming to you.’ So she has found out everything! Poor woman! Poor woman! [ _Pulls out watch and looks at it_.] But what an hour to call! Ten o’clock! I shall have to give up going to the Berkshires. However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive. I am not expected at the Bachelors’, so I shall certainly go there. Well, I will make her stand by her husband. That is the only thing for her to do. That is the only thing for any woman to do. It is the growth of the moral sense in women that makes marriage such a hopeless, one-sided institution. Ten o’clock. She should be here soon. I must tell Phipps I am not in to any one else. [_Goes towards bell_.]

Public domain — free to perform in auditions, showcases and productions.