Steve monologue — Alice Sit-By-The-Fire

‘It’s a come down. Ass, ass, ass! But I say, Alice, I’m awfully glad it’s I who have been the ass and not you. I really am, Colonel. You see the tragedy of my life is I’m such an extraordinarily ordinary sort of fellow that, though every man I know says some lady has loved him, there never in all my unromantic life was a woman who cared a Christmas card for me. It often makes me lonely; and so when I thought such a glorious woman as you, Alice--I lost touch of earth altogether; but now I’ve fallen back on it with a whack. But I’m glad--yes, I’m glad. You two kindest people Steve Rollo has ever known.--Oh, I say good-night. I suppose you can’t overlook it, Alice.’